its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize