just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize