Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize