If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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