it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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