This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
