Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize