I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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