i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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