Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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