I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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