We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
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There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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