Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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