What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
...so i touched it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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