so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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