he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize