he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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