I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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