his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I will pee on everything he values.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize