Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
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it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
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The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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