can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm getting married
To pizza
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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