wat bout pragnant strippers??
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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