hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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