I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
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Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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