Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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