Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize