I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize