I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize