I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize