Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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