she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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