woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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