oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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