she was so not down for the gang bang
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
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so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
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Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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