It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
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we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
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But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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