You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
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So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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