When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize