Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize