I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize