I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize