i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am mentally ready for anal.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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