We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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