It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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