The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
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Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
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My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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