Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize