Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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