I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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