Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
how can u be prego again
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You are a genius and a whore.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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