this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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