i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This is the high leading the old right now
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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