how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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